Pull. Squeeze. Pinch. Prick. Smash. Burn. Whatever you do, the tangles remain. Forever.

tangled

Right. Wrong. Yes. No. What-to-do. What-not-to-do. The tick-tock inside our head goes on and on. Each day starts here with coming back to our morals and qualms, rather than coming back to life. Every little thing we see, hear, say, think, do is all about this, isn’t it ? It’s all tangled and it rests within. Genuine it is, for humans we are. That’s the conclusion for just about every clipping of our life. “We, the humans” or say “We, the madhouse” proves to be the brink of any and every canvas. And with this, everything here gets even more messy. Because when you mull over it, it says - ”we are confused as we are humans and we are humans as we are confused.” - just like a loop, with no loophole in it. Or maybe there is a loophole somewhere, but making for it would crack up our ethics, our connections, our hold..in short our world and in turn our life. Too much to risk? Agree. But there can be no “calculated” step to end this. Admit it. It will either be right OR wrong, yes OR no, true OR false. But this isn't about steering the rebel in you or filling you in with what’s right, it never works. But one thing that surely works is knowing and believing. It could be anything - a word, a book, a person, a job, a moment, a notion, anything ! You just need to know it and believe in it. Above anything, it will take care of all the mixups and distractions alive in you. Of course you might have to come across many rights and wrongs in the process but - life is always about the right stuff – said no man ever. And yes, all this will always remain tangled and nothing and no one can change that but we sure can learn to grow, live and die with it. One last thing to remember - life and death are eternal and inescapable, and so is the tangle lying within us.

It's always hard for the first timers. A simple calculation says, First times = Tough times; First times + Burdens = Worst times. Here's a take on the psyche of being a first timer.

My first bid

So, have you been there too?
Where all of this suddenly gets bizarre,
With you running hard to match the pace
The goal still seeming to be afar.
The imprints of everything going wrong
The air filled with dread and uncertainty,
The unnerving masks of those lying ahead
Turning you rampant with insanity.
Taking on anything for the first time
Does build up the much-awaited pressure,
When all of them tend to slam you down
For the slightest trip, taunting “oh damn you fresher!”
Was it intentional? The way it went?
Like it’s something I had longed to do,
Or you think dumb is the word for me
And I should have my head bent on your shoe.
Learning from the experienced, they say
Is the key to anything-you-wish-to-win
But is that all I need to learn?
Following all day long the experienced kin.
Or would you just let me sail through
With hitches all around my boat,
Allowing me to come over the worst
And then finding me staying afloat.
All that I ask for is
Adding some life to my routine,
Whether I stay right or go wrong
One day I’ll enjoy the green.
I would stand there up-headed
Facing all like an exposed pea,
And whenever the day would come
You’d sure be proud of me.
Till then, just pray for me
And that my first bid must fail,
So that when I make good out of it
Everyone would hush as I would hail.

For all those who wish to be perfect someday.

It's About Being Imperfect

Why do you have to do this? Why can't you just let it be? Why do you over-think and then, become a mood spoiler? Okay, so you have some flaws ? Do you? And if you do, tell me who does not ? Who is that perfect one here without any flaws?  Here comes, "Dude, Nobody's Perfect". No, don't give me that. It can't be possible or else you would not want to waste your entire life cribbing to be a "nobody". That's what they call a perfect one. Can't you see? It's an imperfect's world.
The point is - Why being perfect when everything else is so imperfect? Our life is, I feel, the most imperfect stuff here and to deal with it, to live it the right way, you got to be imperfect or else you would miss the fun. The fun of getting tanned by the burning sun, the fun of getting soaked with mud during the rains when you dressed up for a party, the fun of shivering in the chilly winters, the fun of oiling your hair with no head-wash coming, the fun of getting an ugly pimple right on your nose, the fun of spilling a gel pen's ink inside that big mouth of yours in public, the fun of not getting your favourite lays pack, the fun of not being able to get that big panipuri inside your tiny mouth, the fun of being handled empty wrappers of candies, the fun of embarrassing yourself when drunk, the fun of dancing while crossing the roads, the fun of fumbling on those important and decisive interviews, the fun of fighting with your dearies, the fun of feeling like an alien on your first days, the fun of standing alone in a moving bus with all others sitting and having a laugh at you, the fun of having nothing to do on one of those days, the fun of not knowing what to say, the fun of crying, the fun of disappointing others, the fun of being imperfect, the fun of being YOU.
Is it that annoying? Or that hard to take? Or maybe you're just tired. Tired of getting better and better. Trying to please everybody around you. And when it comes to all of us, what about you? Who is out there to please you when you yourself are willing to go through hell just to prove as an idol to all? You know you need to stop and think. Think that if there is something you got to change, it is the way YOU look at yourself. There would be many to count your flaws, and all of this matters until you climb up there and shout out loud "Yes ! I am the BEST. Got a problem? Well, get in line." Believe me, when it comes to showdown, whole of the scenario tends to fade away, and with it fade away all those bitter memories. Only the wind persists, rest all give you the way. So the next time you get that feeling, just warn the wind of your coming. I bet, the others wouldn't dare to turn up their heads again.

"No-matter-what just believe in yourself and the world would never question your belief."

All about an event that was totally unlooked for but in turn happened to change those four years in the shelter I share with all my college mates. Finally a THANKYOU to all those who believed in me and still do.

            Journey to “ip”

A girl with a cute wink and lively air

A little smile and loads of chatter

Enters into her newly found home

Super excited but nervous for that matter

Finds her new friends plus the old ones

Idiots lurking around in the same world

Makes them their life time buddies

All in each other’s arms, twisted and curled

She tries to fit into her new schedule

With new tee, professors and books

Managing with the lectures as well as bunks

All the pretty hellos and those filthy looks

And then one day, enter her seniors

Amongst a lot of buzz and noise

Making a rush for the awaited competition

And leaving her with no other choice

Keeping up with those unforeseen promises

She decides to give it all a shot

Never bothered, always cool in her head
With whether she wins or not
Walks out of her small classroom
To face the bigger and scarier picture
Yellow with all those "warm smiles" and "good lucks"
And uptight for any gross stricture
But boom! something did make her
Rise above all her fears and flaws
And finally when the moment turned up to her
Everything else faded away, seemed to pause
Did I really want this?, asking herself
Looking here and there with a frown
(Smiling) Oh! let's forget that, thought she
While holding her rose, tag and the crown
Yes, she could have been without all of this
And none of it would have mattered
But then she thought, what's the harm
In acting like a queen and getting flattered
Ofcourse the journey was a total off-color
And the results still shush her out
But you know, sudden is a synonym for life
Because unexpected is what this life is all about.